“Love with conditions.”
“Be nice to people you think deserve it.”
“Help people, if you have time.”
“Do what you want now and follow me when you feel like it.”
“When you see someone in need, don’t sweat it, someone else will help them and besides it’s their own fault they’re in that position.”
“Forgive them, unless, y’know, it’s too hard.”
“That stuff I said to do/not do in the Bible? Ah, don’t worry about that, because, your situation is special. You’re the exception.”
“I don’t want any fanatics, or Jesus freaks, (you know the “Peter” types) I prefer lukewarm folks.”
“I know scripture says to be imitators of Christ, but, hey, you’ll never be God so just do what everybody else thinks is good. (Unless you don’t feel it’s right for you, in which case, stay true to your authentic self.)
“I’m sending a book later, an official church hymnal. Anything other than the burgundy one, and most of the songs in the blue one, are unacceptable.”
“Listen, when it says to obey your spiritual leaders I certainly didn’t mean YOUR pastor!
Note to pastors: this definitely doesn’t mean you should ever presume to tell people in your congregation what they should and shouldn’t do. If she wants to live with that guy, or if he wants to divorce his wife, or if that kid wants to smoke a little weed, it sure isn’t your job to suggest otherwise.”
“Sure the Bible says, ‘forsake not the assembling of yourselves together,” but I’ve got no problem with you just watching Charles Stanley at home instead. (Ed note: I’m a fan of Dr. Stanley and encourage you to watch him, but not in lieu of attending a local church!)
“Rock music is bad.”
“Rap music is worse.”
“Yelling at people changes their hearts. Condescending browbeating also works well.”
“I know I said help each other, and be generous but, hey, second homes and those vacations aren’t gonna pay for themselves.”
“I know almost all of the apostles were martyred for their beliefs, but I totally understand you not wanting to mention me around your friends–especially at work–I mean, they might tease you a little.”
“I know you wouldn’t watch that show if I was in the room with you so, oh wait…”
“7 times 70 is a lot. Once or twice is really noble of you. Again, IF you feel like it.”
“When I said to love your enemies, bless those who curse you and pray for those who spitefully use you, I clearly didn’t mean THAT difficult person in your life.”
“They will know you’re my disciples by how nice you dress.”
“That section in 1 Cor 13:4-8a, wasn’t supposed to make it in, someone forgot to click delete. Bears all things? Endures? I mean who can possibly love like that?”
“That story with the adulterous woman? I was just showing off. I don’t expect you to deal with those kind of people with love and grace. Stone ’em! Or at least be really self righteous and indignant toward them.”
“If you have two shirts and someone needs one, explain to them that you only have two shirts yourself and wish them well.
“Also, if you have a closet full of clothes, let them know that you’ll donate the ones that don’t sell on eBay to Good Will once you out grow them, or they wear out/go out of style.”
“Make sure everybody sees the good deeds you do! If you think someone may not have noticed, the humble brag is always an option. Just post on facebook or tweet out how ‘blessed you are to have driven that old man to his dialysis’ or something along those lines.”
Sometimes, we get off track. We find ourselves in a situation where God’s way seems too hard. We start fudging a little around the edges and before too long, we’ve stopped trying.
We get to the point, in one area or another, where we’ve twisted what God said to the point that it’s barely recognizable anymore.
We do what we want, not what He said.
We ignore the parts of God’s Word that we don’t like.
We skip over the passages that really convict us (the ones we need to read more!)
We make excuses.
We give ourselves a pass.
This post was a meant to be a light hearted way of reminding us of some of the ways we live sometimes, as opposed to how Jesus said we actually should. I hope it encourages us to hit the reset button in the areas we need to and get back on track, living, as Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 10:31-33–for God’s glory and the good of others!
Feel free to add to the list by commenting below or tweeting (tag @mattonthez or @mr.)
“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God— even as I try to please everyone in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved.”
-1 Corinthian 10:31-33