Would you ever divorce your kids?
Okay, I see that smirk, but I’m asking a serious question.
No matter how much they may have hurt you, could you ever readjust your thinking to no longer consider them your child?
No matter how many times they’ve:
- lied to you
- stolen from you
- disrespected you
- embarrassed you
- made you feel unappreciated
- said hurtful things to you
- or otherwise let you down
Even if it’s gotten so bad that you’ve had to institute some drastic “tough love” measures, would you ever stop holding out hope for healing and restoration?
I’m guessing that, except for the most extreme of cases, very few of us would ever stop thinking of them as our children, or stop hoping for a turnaround. (Let alone call a lawyer and legally disown them!)
Why do we see hurts from our spouses differently?
Do we give up because we can?
What if we DID think of them the same way?
What if we hoped and prayed for, believed in, held on, and unconditionally loved our fallen, broken, hurtful, unappreciative, annoying spouses 😉 like we do our kids?
Ask yourself this question. What would my child have to do for me to permanently sever our relationship and declare my love for them dead?
Seriously. Name it.
What would it take for you to walk into a court, look your son or daughter in the eye and publicly tell them that they’re no longer your child?
How hard would you work, how much would you give, to what lengths would you go before you ever even considered that as an option?
Is the threshold any lower for your spouse? Should we have any less grace, patience and unconditional love for them?
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails”
– 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a
Remember, our chances of success, in anything, dramatically increase when we remove the option to quit.
[Note: This is a very difficult subject. Please know that I am judging no one. My sole goal is to help save families from the pain of divorce, give a different perspective, encourage those who are hurting to not give up hope, and to point people toward our God, who SPECIALIZES in fixing what's broken. Stay tuned for some additional thoughts on this subject next week.]